In this Exclusive Interview,the 90-Year Old Jimmy Agbaje’s Mother , chronicles why her children were successful and her love for the teaching profession. Excerpts below:
Jimmy Agbaje’s Mother,A-90-Years Old and highly respected teacher of repute says her children never had extra lessons as pupils.
Clocking 90 years comes with great wisdom, insight and forthrightness.
For Mrs Margaret Olabisi Agbaje, who clocked 90 years on November 19, long life is a gift from God, but she is grateful to those who supported her to get to this stage of her life.
As a teacher and good mother to her four children, including the Group Managing Director, Guaranty Trust Holding Company Plc, Segun Agbaje, and former Lagos State Governorship Aspirant in Peoples’ Democratic Party, Jimi Agbaje, Mrs. Agbaje spoke with Assistant Business Editor, COLLINS NWEZE, on how to build a good and successful home and the role teachers should play in nation building. Excerpts:
How does it feel to be 90 years old?
It is a gift from God. I feel happy. I feel grateful to God. And I am grateful to all those who supported me to reach this age. I am grateful to all those who helped me to find the peace to live up to this age.
Could you tell us about your journey into the teaching profession and what the experiences were?
I had an interesting career in teaching. From 1953-1959, I taught Mathematics at my alma mater, Holy Child College, Lagos and simultaneously, I was requested to teach the same subject at Queen’s College Lagos, briefly, after they had lost their own Mathematics teacher in a plane crash.
This was when Queen’s College was situated at Onikan on Lagos Island. I subsequently taught at St. Joseph’s Teacher Training College, Surulere from January 1960 to January 1971.
At the request of the then Catholic Archbishop of Lagos, late Archbishop J.K. Aggey, I assumed the position of Headmistress of St. Catherine’s Model School, Surulere where I worked from January 1971 to July 1982.
After my retirement from St. Catherine’s School in 1982, I went into private business. I also became very involved in the activities of the Catholic Women Organisation where I held the positions of President, Lagos Ecclesiastical Province, consisting then of nine dioceses, Vice Chairman Provincial and National Provost.
I was married to the late Sir Chief Julius Kosebinu Agbaje in 1956, an old boy of St. Gregory’s College, Lagos, who was the first indigenous Executive Director of Standard Bank of Nigeria (now First Bank of Nigeria), Pioneer Chairman of Guaranty Trust Bank Plc and Federal Palace Hotels amongst other positions. The marriage has been blessed with children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
What was your favorite subject as a teacher?
I enjoyed teaching all the subjects. We were lucky, when Holy Child College was opened, there were only 30 of us, comprising of two clases of 15 students each.
We had four Revered Sisters who were expatriates teaching us. Holy Child College was founded in 1945, after the Second World War. And the teachers, were very good. They had no other life than to teach and nurture us to make us to be what we are today.
In short, it was from there that I decided that if the sisters could be this good at teaching, we also could help our people.
What are your thoughts about teaching in those days and what we have today?
Teachers of today always complain about their pay package. Teachers of the olden days, believed that God would reward them even though the package was small.
Today, most teachers do not want to work. When they teach children in the morning, in the afternoon they keep them in the same classroom, and say they are having lessons and collect money again.
Look at what is happening. When the teachers finish in the schools they go to the different homes as lesson teachers. We do not need it.
If you taught very well in the morning, you give them homework based on what was taught the children. That was what we did. The children do not need lessons. My children never went to lesson classes, and they are who they are today.
But now, they stress children, from morning till six in the evening, children in the primary school are still learning. My children went to Catholic schools, and perhaps, because I was a teacher, if they had difficulties, they might bring them to me; not that I sat them down for two to three hours after school.
Don’t you think that the approach adopted by teachers of today, has to do with the economic situation in the country?
And so, what shall we do? Neglect our work? Do we neglect our work because of the state of the economy?
I know it is difficult, because they are poorly paid. I also think that government should pay teachers something they can live on.
At least, we need shelter, food and clothing. If teachers are not well looked after, then government is not helping them to teach the children. I think government is at fault too.
Teachers are not well looked after. We did not earn a lot of money in our time as teachers, but life was better. Things were not as difficult as now.
They were public transport, and food wasn’t that so expensive. Now, if the market women hear they have increased your salary, the prices of garri will go up because they also take their own portion of the increased salary.
I think, things will improve, and teachers should have a different attitude to their work. If you do well, your rewards come, although it might be later.
Many years ago, my students came to my house to help me, but I always told them I do not need your help. Go back to your schools and support the school. What if I needed help, that is how they would have come.
But they come in, they said, Mama what can we do for you? But I would say, God looks after me. You go back to that school and do something for the school.
We know that you were passionate about your job. How did that rub off on grooming your children?
We closed early and came back to look after our children; unlike today’s workers that close from work late. Then, teachers came in early, and could still look after their children and the family.
At our time, our schools did not close late. Closing early helps. You can combine teaching with being a mother.
Let’s go into your marital life. Tell us how your husband met you and where?
My husband met me in church. I was very active and always seen as a worker in the church. He also was a person like that. He was a good man, like his children, handsome.
And he was getting on well in his career as a banker. He was an accountant by the time we got married. We got married and lived together for over 40 years. Before we got married, they used to call me ‘Miss Teacher’. If you see all my boys, they are straight and tall.
If you like them, then you will like my husband. Before we got married, we went to see my grandfather and he said to my husband: “If you don’t drink, then you can have her.”.
When did you lose your dad?
I lost my dad early. I was only five, but I knew who he was, because we were very close. He was a good man. Very good man. I had a good father. He was a highly placed civil servant.
Because he was in such a high position, he could make some provisions for us. So, we were able to go to school.
Your four children- Femi, Jimi, Mrs. Kofo and Segun. How did they grow up and the role you and your husband played in their early lives?
You need a family where there is peace and harmony and where the father will be a good guardian of the family.
Their father was the one that took decisions on the schools the children attended, and he made sacrifices. He would leave his office at 1.00pm and go to their schools to pick the children up and take them home to have launch because I would come in later.
He was a good father concerned about his family. Early in the morning, he would ring a small bell and ask the children to come together for payers during the holidays.
People were not very happy about it. But you have to be there. We were all there. He could pick on anyone to pray during such mornings. We prayed together. The family that prays together, stays together. You need a good family background. You need a father, a pillar, a guardian and you need a good mother who is submissive to the husband and good mother to the children.
What are your thoughts about wives that are not submissive to their husbands?
They have to be submissive. There cannot be two captains in a boat. So, wives should be submissive to their husbands. You have to be submissive to your husband, in all things which are not evil.
Men have to care for their family. When you get your salary, let your wife know how much you earn.
And if you are proud, and you do not want her to know, you have to give her maintenance allowance for the home. Some men do not help in the family.
And, they should make sure they have a comfortable place for the family to live in. Anywhere you live in should be clean. A home where there is love, peace and unity, is a happy home.
You have very successful children. Tell us about them?
They started with school. You have to work hard. You also have to work hard when they send you to school. You have to do your best. From your primary school performance, you move on to a good secondary school.
Your performance in the secondary school, helps you to move on to the university. In the university, you already have a career, and the father tells them honesty is the best policy. He taught them to be honest. Once they are honest, they will go higher. You see, they are bankers, they won’t go and collect bribe.
They won’t be a manager of a bank branch and share with someone who wants to borrow. Not my children. They are absolutely honest.
We have high rate of divorce in today’s society. What are the causes?
You know what, those divorces were there before the marriage. Let me tell you. If the woman you married, there is a reason why you should not marry her, you shouldn’t have forced yourself. The background of these divorces were there. You must know your wife and her family and be absolutely sure you want to live with her for the rest of your life. When you take that decision, that is when you need to marry.
But sometimes, they look at beautiful faces, and take the woman to church. Don’t rush into marriage, later they will be divorced.
And you look at the mother of the woman you want to marry. Is she a good mother or a bad mother? Be careful. Look at their family before you rush into any marriage.
And how does being a submissive wife help in having a successful family?
You cannot be fighting and boxing each other. You do not have reason for violence in that marriage if the wife is submissive, and the husband is loving. Will there be any reason why there should be violence? Some women come in thinking there is a lot of money in the family, but when they do not get the money, they will be disappointed.
That your wife, what was she looking for? Tell her who you are and what you own. Don’t deceive her. Tell her where you work and what you earn. Some people marry without work or earning salary. When you don’t have a place to stay, and you go and stay in your father’s house, can you marry a wife? Is there accommodation for the family? Does the man have a job, or is he going to depend on my salary as a wife? These are some of the critical questions to answer. A good child does not grow up in a home where parents are fighting each other.
Do you think parents should play a role in the career path of their children?
If you decide and the child says no, what will you do? I have a child that wanted to study architecture. Do you know what my husband told him? He said, you will make a good architect, and we know till today, he is passionate about architecture. Even architects come to him, to borrow his magazine. But today, he is not an architect because the Daddy, said: ” I am not a rich man, architects don’t have work all the time. Their work is not regular. If you want some money to look after your family, architecture does not pay now.” And he listened, and now he is successful.
Parents should not force a child into a career. You both should discuss together and agree. And if the child says this is what he or she wants to do, at the end, it will be on record that he or she was advised. If my son had become an architect, and did not have money to take care of his family, he will not come to his father. But my children listen.
Tell us about your birth and childhood?
I was born at Massey Street Hospital, Lagos Island on the 19th of November 1933 to the family of late Michael Lajuwon Epega, of Ode Remo, Ogun State of Nigeria, a civil servant in the treasury department of the Colonial Civil Service and an old boy of King’s College, Lagos, and Mrs. Sarah Efunwunmi Epega (nee Sowehin), a housewife. I was the third child and first daughter in a family of four children.
I attended primary school at the St. Paul’s Breadfruit School, Lagos Island and was one of the pioneer students of Holy Child College, Ikoyi, Lagos which she attended from 1945-1950 and where she sat for the Cambridge School Certificate.
For my tertiary education, I attended the Holy Child Teacher Training College, Ifuo, Ikot Ekpene, now in Akwa Ibom State from 1951 – 1952. From 1960-1962,
I also attended the College of Education, Hereford, United Kingdom for further studies in education on a Western Nigeria scholarship.