He’s noticed anywhere he surfaces. People regard him and love interacting with him. Ladies, oh! They want to be around him.
He’s a cool guy. When you meet him, he’s a normal day-to-day cool guy who has won the admiration of a lot of ladies.
He dresses well, is soft-spoken and applies some level of etiquette in his human relations. To be candid, he has a way of stealing your heart away but after you have invested so much emotion in him, bang!
The real truth about his personality starts to manifest. While you are still just being suspicious, but not sure, you stumbled upon a text message on his phone that confirms your suspicions.
Or somebody requests after his family or someone who comes to his house while you are visiting wants to know if you are his wife’s sister or if his son is now getting better because he heard that the boy had a light fever a few days ago.
At this juncture, you don’t need an angel to descend from heaven, announcing what you have always suspected, because the truth has always stared you in the face, waiting for you to believe it, come back to your senses and face the reality.
This is a guy who has promised to take you to the altar. This is a guy who is so dedicated to God’s work in the Church, that everybody wants to associate with him as a Godly person. He’s a guy, a lot of people look up to for counsel.
With all these qualities and many more, you are absorbed in him that could not even think of any better guy that God has richly bestowed on you. ‘God couldn’t have blessed me more’’, you always say.
This guy has met most of the qualities that you have always prayed for in a man of your dream, or so you thought. You have always called yourself ‘’ lucky and Blessed’’. So also people who know about his relationship with you are fond of the complimentary remarks of you being blessed to have him by your side.
Now that the cat has been let out of the bag, your next line of action is to start praying for another sincere and reasonable guy but not until you come to the realization that God has helped you to have found out who the guy really is.
But, wait, ‘’why is it that I couldn’t find out by myself that this man has married all the while? Simple, You didn’t know because he’s a smooth operator, a Casanova. And there are a lot of them around these days.
It is ironic and sadly too, that their base of operation is mostly in the house of God, especially big cathedrals –where they can enter into the worlds of many innocent sisters as they can, without an iota of suspicion by those in charge of church affairs.
‘’For me, I thought I was smart and intelligent. Yes, I had on many occasions queried him about my suspicions but he had waved it off saying –‘’ you are being pushed by insecurities which are non-existence’’. ‘Put your mind at rest’’, he’s fond of saying.
Now, it’s dawned on me, the brother is a married man, not only married but a legally married man with a child.
This type of guy operates, in the same manner, paedophiles do, they live or work not too far away from the house of the victim. It works for them because parents warn their children to keep away from strangers.
Parents do not always spell out the types of ‘Strangers’ they should really stay away from. Just like they(parents) say of old, ‘don’t allow any man ‘touch’ you, otherwise, you’ll be pregnant’. Not explaining the connotation of ‘touch’ which they meant to be sex!
So, a dysfunctional man strikes without being noticed, even in church! The guy has accustomed to Christians’ slang, God bless you, God is in control, Hi sis, and many others, so that nobody could even decipher that he’s not a committed child of God but only in the midst of God’s people for his criminal or evil intentions. After he’s done, he fades away.
They utter those words without affection as it has become part of their instrument of deceit.
Let’s rehearse their way of approach:
He starts talking to the ladies the same way before he strikes. ‘’I always sit in front and do not understand why I was sitting at the back when you walked into the church. I realized I needed to talk to you but I was afraid that you might be married. I know that God is not the author of confusion, so, here I am. Are you married?”
Really, in your mind, you are saying, ’maar what?’’ Never, ever married Sir. And that’s a soft landing for him. He shoots deceptive arrows and got you immediately.
He understands that at present, your prayer points have been to be hooked to a life partner, so, he capitalizes on that need, just as the paedophile operates and ‘proves’ to his would-be prey that he is the only one that loves him or her and shows interest in the needs of the child.
The modus operandi of his criminal operations is so cleverly and smoothly rehearsed and executed that you cannot miss the fact that he learned his acts from the stable of his master the devil!
Mind you, don’t forget if you are introduced to each other by a matchmaking agency, he will probably wait to meet with you immediately. He will prefer to put a call to you to establish with you some facts. He’s doing this to study your psyche to know how to ‘handle’ you.
If you have fallen into the trap of these types of smooth operators before, you need a lot of assistance from a good counsellor. It won’t be easy for you to handle it alone and free from his or her web.
Take a bold step. Stay away from him. The fact that now you understand that he’s not available and that he has been lying to you all along, you may find yourself still warming up to him inexplicably, even picking up his phone calls. And frankly, because he knows that ladies love making and receiving calls.
When this is the situation, the one concerned should quickly realize that he or she is under some ungodly yokes that need to be broken. She should quickly seek help before the wicked smooth operator, Casanova bastardizes her destiny. Remember, no garden without its weeds. Keep pushing and don’t settle for wicked liars.