There is a Monster in our midst. This monster is turning to a canker-worm that is gradually becoming a norm in our society. This monster is eating deeper into the fabrics of our youths, adults , even parents and the like !!!
It is therefore expedient for everyone of us to have a voice to uproot this deadly monster called rape in our society if we , as a people would want to leave a better legacy for the present and future generation.
The media-radio, television, newspapers and of course the social media carry stories of rape and agony of their victims almost on daily basis. Despite reports on the rape endemic, and dangers pose to society and their victims, the situation has not abated.
What is rape? The New Lexicon Websters Dictionary And English Language Deluxe Encyclopedic Edition, defines rape as ‘’illicit sexual intercourse with a woman without her consent(by force),deception..’’
Also, Chambers Concise Dictionary defines rape as ‘’ unlawful sexual intercourse (by force(or technically , with a minor) with another person without the person’s consent’’.
‘’Morality was made for man, not man for morality’’-Israel Zangwill: Children of the Ghetto.
With this simple definitions of rape, a reasonable and morally upright man should not be involved in raping anyone.
What can really be the cause(s) of rape? Many people would mention idleness, joblessness, indecent dressings and many other salient reasons.
The above reasons could be faulted as both the gainfully employed and the unemployed have been at one time or the other alleged to have been involved in this ungodly act. To make the matter worse, parents, fathers have been caught , arrested and prosecuted for raping their children or wards.
While some rapists are involved because of their debased mindsets, some are into it for diabolical reasons. It is no news now in Nigeria when you hear or read about ritualists using female or male blood for money ritual. It has become ‘a social contract’ between the rapist and the voodoo man or woman who would use the blood to achieve his purpose. This is done secretly without the knowledge of their victims. What a pity for the victims!!
In a video clip shared on social media online of recent,(Slightly connected to rape) a young lady who claimed to be a self sponsored undergraduate student in a university got hooked up by a guy she met briefly by the roadside while making her rounds. She eventually found herself in his arms few minutes later, not having the inkling that the guy had used her blood for money ritual during the course of copulation. What was the repercussion? Her private part was oozing out maggots, now she’s calling for help because she could not trace the guy .
Another episode was a report of a divorced couple in Lagos . The woman left the marriage but left their only daughter with the father. The father was having ungodly canal knowledge of the daughter and made sure he caged her from relating with their neighbours until one day the cat was let out of the bag . The father was out and the daughter went outside to buy food to eat. The neighbours saw her pregnant, smelt foul play and alerted the police. The man was arrested , interrogated and prosecuted. The abomination had been committed , putting his own biological child into a family way!
Of recent , the PM News carried a story from Anambra State,where a randy Pastor defiled his 7-year-old housemaid and later gave a flimsy reason of his wife starving him of sex; another malady of the time!
Usually , ladies are victims of rape, even though boys also could be involved. Unscrupulous ladies also rape unsuspecting teenagers.
Therefore , the preoccupation of this piece is to sensitize our teenagers , male or female,EVEN ADULTS, how they could easily avoid rape and people with diabolical motives who may want to use them for evil purposes.
PRE-RAPE SIGNALS
Sometimes, before a rape will take place , especially when it involves a close relation, fathers, neighbours, friend or family friend, the signs, even though are there, but are often ignored or treated as inconsequential.
Suggested Pre- Signals:
1. As a young girl , once you notice any uncle , neighbour or friend, no matter how close you are to him, trying to touch or hold the sensitive parts of your body-like your breast, buttocks or genital, all for the reason of playing with you , that is a sign of lustful desires which could easily lead to serious molestation or rape-stay away from such uncles or aunties so that he/she will not achieve his hidden desires.
2. As a boy(young or old) be on the look- out for these signs too, because some ‘sick men’ and women are also involved . Nobody should be allowed to touch you on your private region or make you touch theirs for no reason.
3. Avoid late night parties.
4. Let your parents know your movements and be sincere about it.
5. Never stop asking questions , especially when you are being asked to go somewhere or do things you are not familiar with, even if the person you are dealing with is very familiar with you.
6. Scream the loudest you can and don’t stop screaming no matter what, if you are being touched or you feel somebody is trying to rape you.
7. Scratch and bite as much as you could.
Remember, anybody who is trying to rape you doesn’t deserve your respect anymore, especially at that very moment.
As young as you may be , there is a reasonable level of strength deposited in you by God and the best time to use that little strength of yours , is when rape or molestation attempt is made on you. Fight, scratch, bite, kick as much as you could if you ever finds yourself in such a dangerous situation.
8. Don’t believe the threat to hurt you if you scream. He’s about to hurt you, in the most horrible way possible and he wants you to make it easy for him, he is most likely to let you go and save himself the trouble..
9. Don’t keep any rape incident or attempted rape to yourself. Talk to someone about it as quickly as possible-Your parents, your teacher (if you are a student), your sister or brother etc.
You may also talk to your friend’s parents, reliable and acclaimed Godly pastors, Imams or counselors. Just make sure that you are talking to someone.
10. Be in company of your tested and trusted friends.
11. Let your dressing be moderate and decent. Don’t allow your outfit to be too tight since you are not out to seduce men. Men are usually attracted to the sophisticated ones, not for marriage(in most cases) but for lustful desires or so-called fun.
12. Watch the way you talk in public and avoid ‘gutter language’ which can betray you into the hands of rapists who will mark you as a cheap whore that they can lure into sex.
13. If your father stares at you too often or made unwarranted comments about your body especially when your mother is not around , quickly make your privacy known to him politely. If persists , let your mum knows about this. It will save you and the family a big disgrace ahead.
REMEDIES
1. Report anybody who likes to touch you on sensitive parts of your body.
2. Avoid being alone with anyone who likes to touch you in sensitive parts of your body saying , he’s playing with you.
3. Avoid being alone with anybody who has expressed interest in having a ‘special relationship’ with you at a particular time in the past, but probably never mentioned it again when he didn’t get the kind of response he expected from you.
4. Don’t ever go anywhere with strangers , or ‘semi strangers’ like your brother or sisters’ friends or relations you personally do not know anything about, no matter the reasons.
5. Always listen to that still- small -voice in your mind and that feeling that tells you not to go somewhere you are about to go , or do something you are about to do.
One of the biggest problem in the World today is sexual perversion. You can be ignorant of a lot of things in today’s world and get unscathed but you really can’t afford to be ignorant with sex and allied sexual activities.
Many nations of the world budget billions of dollars on yearly basis to combat terrorist threats that could at best ,destroy several thousand s of people, yet nothing about the biggest threat of sexual perversion that is already destroying millions of lives .
It is interesting to notice that somebody that is raped if not dead, could contract venereal diseases such as gonorrheoea, syphilis and many others.
Sexual transmitted diseases is increasing on a daily basis , and few diseases that are considered treatable are fast developing strong resistance to all known treatment and medication. So take a cue and don’t allow unscrupulous men or women make a mess of your life.
Idowu Tunde is a Duty Care Manager and Publisher/ Editor- in- Chief
The Interviews Nigeria, Osogbo.